Softening into December

Resisting the urge to spend. Resisting the urge to compare. To be perfect. To wish for anything to be other than it is. 

What is has been has been busy (the Gather shop), thrillingly exciting (I am seriously considering inventing the new version of the old Instagram, a place of stillness and peace and anti-capitalism and I have drafted an email to the CEO of Lush to see if they want in), guiltily pleasurable (three Bond films in the last week) and indulgently nostalgic (old Carols from Kings videos on YouTube). 

If you do nothing else this December, keep some promises to yourself. Mine have been guided by my Advent branch. I’ll let you into a secret, I created my slips of paper using a theoretical framework for self-care. I can’t help it; being a scientist-practitioner was drummed into me in clinical training as the only thing that stops psychologists joining the ranks of the woo. 

And so thanks to modern science, we have CLANG:

Connect

Learn

be Active

Notice

Give back

Dr Phil Hammond, being a rather pragmatic sort of person, added a few more of his own. Eat, Relax, Sleep. I am too young to remember the CLANGERS but apparently, they were a thing and they do at least have the benefit of being memorable. 

And so in my 24 slips of paper, I had four for each of the themes. I loved doing the ‘Eat’ related ones, although food is about so much more than food and so they overlap into connection (book somewhere for dinner), noticing (clear the table and eat dinner with candles), learning (cook a new recipe) and even giving back (food bank shop). 

I don’t know about you, but being active feels hard when the nights are long and the days are short. Dog walks are rushed and I feel like I have to start thinking about going out as soon as lunch is over. And so one of my slips simply said ‘DANCE’. 

I love that this resonated with so many of you and the recommendations for feel-good movement music flooded in. Special recognition for Liz who recommended anything by The Blues Brothers. Oh yes. Aretha Franklin is belting out ‘Think’ as I type this.

I spoke to a therapist a while ago about how much I wanted something and how I was worried about my obsessive drive and how I couldn’t just be satisfied with what I have. I was (and am still) entirely preoccupied with getting this thing. He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment and said ‘you’re like a Blues Brother, you’re on a mission from God’. I immediately felt better, and watching the Blue Brothers has made me howl with laughter and recognition ever since. 

In case you don’t know the film, the God bit is, at best, ironic.

This morning’s slip told me to spend an hour with my camera and so that is what I am going to go and do now, whilst the light is still golden and magical. But you know all the time I’m out in the field, I’ll be humming about shaking tail feathers. 

I am cheating a little bit with tomorrow’s slip. I put a bit of gold paint on the outside to know when to open it. Because tomorrow is all about the making of wreaths…